Making mistakes is human
Making mistakes is allowed! During these explorations of the vertical grow-up and the horizontal wake-up path you will regularly get confused, get stuck, encounter all kinds of obstacles, be overwhelmed by shadows of the past, and sometimes lose your mind at all, maybe in a getting into depression and dealing with despair because you don't seem to be moving forward. But that is part of it. Growth can only be done by trial and error.
Making mistakes is a must! And then learn lessons from what happened. Learning from your mistakes provides access to all your development potential. Every time you get stuck, you get the opportunity to learn from it. Zen teacher Jun Po says: Your fear is your liberation. So instead of getting mad at yourself, see all that struggling and hassle as an opportunity!